AMPOR M. ITCHKIN

The Perfect Servant

(Any similarity of any person you know or know of to Ampor M. Itchkin is purely coincidental)

Ampor M. Itchkin with poor sense of self
Puts most of her personal needs on the shelf.
Ampor does service for people she knows.
And this is the type of a life that she chose.

For Ampor M. Itchkin believes it is true,
She's not so important or special -like you.

 

Do you see that fly on the wall?--that one, near the corner--the one under the picture? No, at the right side under the picture? Yes, there!-opps!- it's not there anymore. Did someone swat it?

That fly is not Ampor M. Itchkin. But it might as well be. Not that the fly has no significance, because it really has. However, most people don't think it is important-- and that is how Ampor M. Itchkin views herself. And because Ampor sees herself that way, many other people do too. She wears an invisible sign which says:

IGNORE ME , UNLESS YOU NEED A FAVOR

Ampor M. Itchkin firmly believes that she is put on this earth to serve other people, all the time.People take advantage of her.

Now Ampor does earn a pittance of a living. She takes less money for what she does because she feels guilty taking anything. Well, she has to pay her rent and buy some food.In her spare moments, she is doing favors for other people.

Everyone knows who to call when they need one.

Telephone rings:

"Ampor, this is Kickle. How are y--- and can you run to the store for me and pick up some pickled jelly-- Hymer's Green Pickled Jelly--the large quart jar? It's just that my foot fell asleep and.....thanks so much. You can deliver it tonight because I have to get out soon. I have an appointment ......."

Ampor rarely asks favors in return. I say "rarely" , not "never" because she once did ask a favor. It was about seven years ago. Ampor was walking down the street on a windy day. Her hat blew off her head. It was her only hat. She called down to someone at the end of the street and asked him to step on the hat until she could get there and pick it up.

Did you know that Ampor has a self-sacrificing mentor? Yep, she does which means that there is a favor -doing competitor. It is her cousin whom everyone calls Second Hand Impka.

Second Hand Impka strongly believes that everybody (yes you heard me) EVERYBODY was born to serve others. Of course, no one , not even Ampor , ever thought to ask Cousin Impka who these everybodies would serve if they were all serving everyone else.

Oh--nevermind this minor detail.

 

Ampor M. Itchin, I'll say it again,
Is up , out and running and serving you when,
You call for a favor, she'll do it with speed,
An experienced masochist, yes, yes indeed.

Well, maybe sometime she'll wake up and take note,
That Ampor's the person on whom she should dote.

*


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