The One-Woman Now-a-days Police

(Any similarity of any person you know or know of to Norba Greasegull is purely coincidental)

Norba, oh Norba, what's doin' today?
Continuing living, your usual way?
Of checking out all that is trendy so that,
You'll wear the right flower on top of your hat?

The colors and styles of clothes that you wear,
You're seen with a fashionable style of hair.
The way that you eat, use a spoon or a fork,
The words that you use in conventional talk?

And make it your business, that others do too-
That Dzitzelans follow the "rules" just like you.
Conventional dictates, whatever is "in."
'Cause doing what's "out" is a horrible sin.


Norba Greasgull is narrow-minded. She is obsessed with whatever is considered "the way it's done -now-a-days." Some citizens of the Queendom of Dzitzel refer to Norba as the Now-a-days Police. Other citizens of Dzitzel refer to Norba as the Fashion Police.

Every morning, Norba Greasgull gets up at the crack of dawn, gets dressed ( in the latest style), puts on her beaded necklace (that's "in" for jewelry), grabs her binoculars and notebook and runs out her door. She hovers in doorways ,scoots across bridges, peaks into windows, and sits on park benches. She has a purpose:

To survey the population to see whether they are following the most modern trends. Those who deviate can expect a lecture from her the next day.

You might think that Norba Greasegull, obsessed as she is , will do this snooping all day long. NO WAY! She must earn a living in order to buy all the fashions that are "in" now-a-days.

Norba Greasegull works in Queen's garden. She finds out the latest in planting etiquette by reading gardening manuals such as BACKYARD PROTOCOLS,FRIENDLY FOLIAGE and THE DIG UP DIRT TODAY JOURNAL. Unfortunately, the gardening gurus decided last month that planting tulips , not roses were "in" now-a-days. I say unfortuantely, because Queen has been known to favor roses. NEVERMIND THAT-- Norba would rather risk her nose than plant a rose!--that is, if BACKYARD PROTOCOLS et al --call for tulips.

Norba has just finished writing her 432 page book called SHOE ETIQUETTE NOW-A-DAYS: DZITZEL SETS THE STYLE. And that is just Volume 1. She is planning her topics for Volume 2, 3, and 4 as I write and you read. These volumes will point out all the shoe errors around the world past and present, with reference to corrections.


Norba, oh Norba, you're terribly strict,
It seems you're not scared , you'll be possibly picked.
To march to town central at 7 o'clock,
In fashionable dress, put your nose on the block

Perhaps you don't care, just so long as you meet,
The standards of "in" from your head to your feet.
With such strong convictions, I'm sure you will shout:



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