Fester LeBreeze has a lot of degrees,
A Bachelor’s , a Masters, and 5 PhDs.
A learnedly fellow, he’s known at his school,
As  the brilliantly, scholarly, absolute fool.

Professor LeBreeze is the most scholarly man in Dzitzel. He teaches at  Dzitzel   univarsity, and is respected by one and all  who are  enrolled or not enrolled, one or the other or not.  Even Queen wouldn’t dare cut off his nose, worrying there  just might be some important concept lying amongst the hairs of   each nostril.

Professor LeBreeze developed a new course of study called:

Langtwistics. 

It is the study of misused and misunderstood language, throughout Dzitzel and also the outer world and beyond.  Professor LeBreeze understands that language is always changing, so why not change it yourself at will.  In addition, if you misuse the language, and/or misunderstand the language you are bound to exert your independence .(and everyone wants to do that!).  The goal of the course is to promote confusion, confession and mitigation without blinking an eyelid, while misusing and misunderstanding whatever is said or not said or both.

Here is  some, but not all, and certainly not completely, or incompletely, the course of study, otherwise known as syllabifictionalism.

Unit 1. Words that are commonly  not used and never misused, and therefore should be dismissed from some or all languages.

Text (written by Professor Le Breeze). Chapter 1, pages 32-23.

Assignment:  Reflect upon and digest the dyaginous qualifications and quantifications of  presumed sequence in a misorderly manner.

Be sure to include, but not totally eliminate, all references to the equinox in assessing the exactment of progrissitudes as expunged by humanitarian fexistentialism. ***

Due Yesterday

Unit 2. Words to be misused on a daily, but not nearly on a chronical  basis.

Text  chapter 17, pages 178-163

Assignment:  Write a  300 page essay indicating the misuse of the word “THE” throughout the history of the  world, with a peculiar focus on Dzitzel .( Please note: the word “The” does not exist in Dzitzelese, but that doesn’t matter a bit. Do the assignment anyway.)  Make sure to consult at least 29 resources and footnote each, with complete experimental biblio-signigraphaphical  capsations.

 due within the hour

Unit 3. Words to be misunderstood , chronically but rarely habitually, through tangled metamorphosis.

Text.  Chapter 2, pages 48-19

Assignment:  Interview 123,897 people living in your neighborhood and  in at least 43 foreign countries. Ask them what they do not understand, take a tally of which are
similar, and which are dissimilar, which are concrete, which are flimsy, which are tyrannical, which are beneficial, and which, if any, but not mostly,  can be detracted from sincere burstification. Submit  all or none of the  interviews in a  pocket folder.

 due: at 6:45 PM tonight.

Unit 4.  The Anthropology of miximissions from the Stone Age to the present.

Text: chapter 6- pages 145-12

Assignment: Write an essay  in 25 words or less which should include , but not limited to the following:
  a) Which was used first during the Stone Age: rocks or sticks and  not for what?
 b)  Compare and Contrast the mannerisms of belichasms  within the Roman and Greek Empires.
  c)  The use of the plow in defeating agricultural mismanagement as  either a  direct or indirect result of the Poopaw rebellion.
 d)  Expound on a topic of nobody's choice.

 More  assignments will be given after the deadlines.

***note:  altercations in assignments might be ignited
up to 3 minutes before the assignment is due. So please read
all s- mail updates.

Professor LeBreeze is a person well-known.
The knowledge you’ll learn will sink down to 
                 your bone.
With no common sense,  for his head’s in the
                  stars.
I wish he would travel... like.... heading toward
                   Mars!