Installment 4


( with great appreciation to John Keats, who , despite
the humor, I give great respect as a brilliant 19th century poet.)


And now the description, the classic event,
It starts with an “invite,” a note that is sent,
To the luckiest, spunkiest neighborhood crowd,
Who’re bound to be startled and certainly wowed.



Turkey Lurkey in unison with Chicken Little worked assiduously to collocate the grand  event,  which was initiated with  an invitation, inscribed with the Lurkey family crest,  for the forthcoming surprise costume party. The invitation was meticulously crafted so that no one could guess that it was  going to be what it was going to be.


The letter said.....................................

To Whom we hypothesize it would presumably pertain,  


 “It was with much fervid and perspiring collaboration that we finally effectuated orchestrating a hands-on (or feathers on, or paws on, whatever!) didactic seminar on kitchen pipe installation to be held nocturnally , October 31, at Lurkey Manor at 7:04 PM. , SHARP. Please make an ardent effort to appear at this propaedeutic presentation , as Mr. Pityphool (the instructor) is a busy individual; he  has munificently spared time out of his inordinately busy schedule to enlighten us on this engaging  though pragmatic  topic. Please make time for this once-in- a-lifetime opportunity. It is mandatory to  DRESS IN COSUTME, and WEAR A MASK. Do not be tardy; ask NO questions.

RSVP  with promtitude by mailing the enclosed  response card , att: Mr. Melarchie, or by phoning him at (000) 000-0000 extension  O. We are excited as you will be about this extraordinary opportunity.

With perfervid solicitations,

Turkey Lurkey , F.I.R.*

Chicken Little, L.C.E.**

*Fowl in Residence

**Lecture Collaborator Extraordinaire

The response was unequivocally positive. 82 out of the 78 invitees accepted with  apparent fervor.


On the night of the fun-filled fest (aka seminar). Ducky Lucky (disguised as Julius Caesar) and Goosey Loosey  (costumed as Marie Antoinette as she looked on October 16,1795) believing that " procrastination is the thief of time," arrived at 7:04 precisely —notebooks and pens in feathers, zealously yearning to glean all there was know about kitchen pipe installation. Of course, Turkey Lurkey (ensconced as Bismarck  and Chicken Little, draped in Little Red Riding Hood attire) could not identify the inhabitants of the outer vestments of Julius and Marie and vice versa because everyone donned a mask. These first guests were ushered into a small room east of the entrance vestibule where they waited for the festivities to begin.

Within 30 seconds, Henny Penny, dressed as Elsie the Cow arrived along with all the others disguised as ( in order of appearance) “King Arthur, “Pecos Bill,” Benedict Arnold”, Susan B. Anthony,” “Tituba,” Amelia Earhart,”Benjamin Franklin “George Washington Jefferson  jr.,”  “Alexander the Great,” “Isidore Totsly the Great, “ Suzie-Jean,”"Dena Phyllis" Little Orphan Annie," “Betsy Ross,” “Jack Sprat and Wife,” “Angelina Grimke Weld,” “Jay Chuckie ," "Uncle Miltie,” ‘Snoopy," "King George IV,"   “Ethel Mertz,” “Jude the Obscure,” “Caligula,” “Napoleon,” “Sun Yat Sen,”"Old King Cole," “Maid Marion,” “Wee  Willie Winkie,” “Albert Einstein,” “Betty Boop,” “Tarzan,”  “Olive Oyl,” “Socrates,” “Pierre A. Renoir,” “ Mad Anthony Wayne,” and many other notable personnages.    A set of triplets appeared as “the Beverly Hillbillies” but no one could tell  who they were, of course, because they sported masks. Just who everyone was for real was a complete enigma.

Little did anyone conjecture, infer, postulate ,and/or intuit that this was a surprise costume party to consecrate the naissance of  the venerated romantic poet John Keats. NO ONE HAD A CLUE! but not for long. Were they elated when the joyous gala began? Yes they were...Well, except for Tuggy Turtle, disguised as Attila the Hun who was chagrined, initially. He was somewhat agitated because he had his heart set on learning about kitchen pipe installation  and came with his own silver-plated monogramed wrench.  But even Mr. Turtle was mollified when assured that Mr. Malarchie would arrange a private, all expenses paid session for him with Mr. Pittyphool.




THE AGENDA, as distributed and documented for posterity by Mr. Malarchie— a good example of personality complexities. Though often rather perfunctory in the performance of his routine duties , he still was, at times, ironically capable of being a veritable paragon of punctilious diligence. Mr. Malarchie assiduously faced this challenge.


1.The first order of business was the devouring of pistachio nuts  provided by the “We’re All Nuts Company” of West Callican, Iccafrensia. A prize was given out to the participant who consumed the most nuts in a timely and inaudible manner.

The Winner, THE LITTLE RED HEN, who came disguised as THE MARCH HARE.




Each invitee in turn would come to the front of the room  with mask on. He or she or it would give three hints as to whom he or she or it is portraying.   Then the guests would commence speculating and then, present an answer. The winner ( that is, the one with most correct answers) would receive a dinner out with Mr. Malarchie at the world renowned gourmand brasserie "BETSY BISQUITSNACKS."


And here is how it went:

The first up was Napolean (shush! this is a guessing game!)


l. I lived a long time ago(depending of course when you are  living) but not as long ago as Moses.

2. Some folks believed me to be belligerent.

3. I habitually kept my hand on my belly ache.



INCORRECT GUESSES:   Robin Hood, Zorro, Charles Darwin.



The second  up was Benjamin Franklin (shush again!)


l. I have always been perspicacious, and am noted to be a discerning  politician.

2. I persistently mused  about cracked bells and often ran outside during lightening storms to fly a kite.

3. I devised a rectangular ...device which warmed one's entire anatomy.



INCORRECT GUESSES: Tony Escalagio,  Grandma Moses, Icabod Crane.




By now, Mr. Malachie was getting a bit perturbed, formulating a theory that he might not end up with any dinner companion to escort at all.  Quite out of character for this sullen loner!

Well, on and on the game went with little accuracy ; Finally the only personages who were correctly identified were Muscle G. Monkey and Olive Oyl. Conforming then to his typical temperment Mr Malarchie resentfully concluded that he was to be confronted with two to share the dinner with him.


3. The main meal—consisting of a sumptuous array of what Mr. Malarchie decided were feudal delicacies which were sure to please, including, but not limited to, string bean, alfalfa and cottage cheese souffle, topped with whipped mustard , and a side dish of koccleberry yogurt. (Note: some
might think Mr. Malarchie's meal preparations to be useless and therefore the food ended up to be futile delicacies. At least 48% of the guests abstained from eating the meal.)


4. The unmasking ceremonial —(Use your unbridled, imagination for this one . Send the description to


suziejean887@                                                      .


5. Game #2: THE ULTIMATE SPELLING BEE in which all words must be spelled backwards.  The winner gets  breakfast out with Mr. Malarchie at the world famous Bed Before Breakfast Inn known as “THE WE MIGHT GAWK ,BUT WE DON’T TALK, TAVERN.”


6. The terminating exercise, was introduced by Turkey Lurkey in a closing oration , delivered with ebullient, vibrant tenacity for 23 hours. Was it a Keats poetry reading? Partially....about 3 minutes.

( Needless to say it was rather difficult to keep most, if not all of the participants from intermittant slumber. Ducky Lucky actually fell into a deep sleep causing sporatic but sonorous snoring, ( a distraction , irksome to some guests, a relief to most. )

Here, following is but a brief portion of Ms. Lurkey's eloquent testimonial.


“We congregate conjointly in this phenomenal here-assembled coterie to pay homage to a man who categorically merits our adulation: JOHN KEATS.We must all recall with reverence his words of wisdom and beauty. In addition, we must all realize with full cognizance the importance of celebrating together, in harmony what can only come from unremitting camaraderie,    in other words,............. and words and more words

.............................words....................................................................................................... words................................................... and more words............................................................................. 

"So without further ado, it is most prudent for me not to prolong this verbal exercise" (which some guests concluded was nothing more than a pedantic oration)  "but to turn over the podium to Cocky Locky ( who came to the party heretofore incognito as Gabby Hayes)  for a 3 minute poetry recitation.
Cocky Locky- take over ,but remember--you're on the clock! "

7. The 3 minute poetry recitation- which included poetic pieces written by Keats and several of his contemporaries.


8. The ceremonial retreat — Each guest exited singing the national anthem of  his ,her or its least enamored country.


OK, now you’ve got it, the stories are done.
I hope that by reading these texts, you had fun;
You've learned many words... oh the things you can say,
In an erudite manner, each  a
wesome  new day.

Back to Chicken Little Menu