The Master Manipulator

(Any similarity of any person you know or know of to Soli Sludge is totally coincidental)

Soli Sludge is such a sneak,
Convincing both the strong and weak.

Her words will hit you with a thrust,
In moments , she has gained your trust.

Though at the start you will believe,
"Believe" will soon become "deceive."


Ah! here is a Dzitilan that you wouldn't want to meet.

Soli Sludge has the know-how to make a snake think its an antelope. Yes, I know, that is an exaggeration. Snakes can't understand Dzitzelese! But , on the other hand, Soli is an exaggeration of a personality type.OR IS SHE?

Soli goes around Dzitzel, usually in a rickshaw, finding people to manipulate.
She usually wears a large straw hat with a secret compartment in which she houses several bottles of lime soda , her favorite drink.

Soli Sludge is a very convincing person, and impresses everyone. She once set herself up as a fashion consultant , with a Ph.D from the Fashion Academy of Exemplopedia. While it takes most folks 3 to 10 years to get a doctorate, it took Dr. Soli only 33 seconds---the time it took her to open her mouth and say that she had one and then she did.
Dr. Soli then sold 2 fashion concepts to the most reknowned designer in Dzitzel:

1) white peddle pusher pants with a motif of very bright multi-colored watermellons and porcupines.

Soli had the designer convinced that these pants would be a runaway best seller.


2) autograph-ready knee pads to be worn over "pick your own colors" striped tights.

Another potential best seller!

On Home Interior Design Front:

With a an "advanced degree" in Interior Decorating from The Lavinia Latrine College of Interior Design of Pluckman County , Mysteria, Dr.Soli went after her clientele. Here is an example of her efforts in this arena.

Mrs.Exgellina Catnip hired Dr.Soli Sludge to make an interior design analysis of her house and give observatons and recommendations. She was anxious to redecorate. Here is the final report, for which Mrs. Catnip paid $2,623.42 in advance.



Client: Exgellina Catnip
Address: 573528737567 Sorceress Alley, Dzitzel City, QD 00000

Onsight Analysis:

Mrs. Catnip lives in a home with rooms in it. In the rooms
one can find some furniture. The home has 2 indoor bathrooms each of which is accessible through a door.


Mrs. Catnip desires redecoration.

Recommendations: Buy a chair.


When Mrs . Catnip received this report she was understandably perturbed .She believed that she was entitled to a fuller report for her $2,623.42 paid in advance. She wanted her money back and phoned Dr.Soli Sludge. Here is how the conversation went:


Mrs. Catnip: I paid for a detailed analysis with observations and recommendations and got something totally inadequate. I want my money back.

Dr.Soli: If you remember ,there was no written contract. Our oral agreement was for an analysis with observations and recommendations. There was no mention of "detail" in our negotiations.

Mrs. Catnip: But what you sent me is a big nothing.

Dr. Soli: We agreed to: an analysis with observations and recommendations. I sent it to you. You have it. OKaaaay!!!!!


Sometimes,Dr. Soli does come up with good projects, and getting people interested in having them done is not, in the sense of being fooled, a manipulation. However, she really doesn't always want to do the work involved in that project, so she often, reluctantly, hires people to do the work for her. I use the word "reluctantly" because she certainly would prefer slaves. She might even pay them for awhile, but somewhere along the way payments decrease and stop. Soli has a philosophy: If you work on Monday, but not on Tuesday, why pay for work done Monday? And so the good Dr. will find some reason not to pay someone for his or her work--perhaps, the work was done "poorly" (according to Soli's made-to-order-of - the -moment standards,) or the person did not fully fulfill the requirements (according to Soli's made-to-order-of -the-moment - requirements.) Or, she might say nothing at all and put that thought in the "unimportant memory stuff bin." (See philosophy # 2 in Phineous). On some occasions, she might give her manipulatee an award from some made-up organization honoring him or her for excellent contributions to furthering the cause of .......(ugh! she'll come up with something!) But if Soli doesn't need you for future manupulations, don't count on receiving a plaque.

GO AFTER Dr.SOLI even though she has doctorates?

Have Soli Soli-ied !Take her to the highest court in Dzitzel (which is Queen?) Ha! Ha! Ha! She even has Queen manipulated which means that Dr Soli Sludge just might manage to keep her nose.



You might feel silly , taken in,
Believing her persuasive spin,

Don't feel that way--don't take the blame
The victim's not the one at shame


The Soli's of the world should know,
That only honest people glow.


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