Standing Tall on the Soap

( Any similarity to any philosopher living within or outside of the
Queendom of Dzitzel is purely coincidental.)

Phinniper Phussbut G. Buttons C. Dowd
Will stand up real tall, with his head in a cloud.

And Phinniper Phussbut is known to be proud,
A long time ago was determined and vowed,

To go on a soap box addressing a crowd,
And spout his wise thoughts, with a voice that is loud;


MAKE SURE TO LISTEN, I'm sure you'll be wowed.
By Phinniper Phussbut G. Buttons C. Dowd.


Phinniper Phussbut G. Buttons C. Dowd has many professions. But his very best favorite profession is the profession of professional philosopher. His fees are fair!

Phinniper Phussbut G. Buttons C.Dowd stands on his soap box and preaches to one and all. (Actually, he is standing on a soap cake--yes that's right!) HOW PHILOSOPHICAL OF HIM!


Phinniper has two favorite professional philosophies which he professionally professes proactively:



Phinniper strongly believes that since everyone will fail at something at least from time to time and probably more often than that, it is exptremely important , if not imperative, to learn to fail well. Phinniper believes that failing is an exciting learning experience.

For example-- if you fail a test , proceed as follows:

a) look at the answers marked with an X and see the perfection therein. The answer is perfectly wrong, you understand. (for more on perfection, read about Astor.) That is why you need not flinch at it.

b) The next step is to analyze why your answer is perfectly wrong and figure out how to make it perfectly right--but only if you want to. In order to do that you must....

1. Decide whether you want to or don't want to. If you want to, go on to #2.

2. Do it!

3. Contemplate whether you have made the right choice.




Phinniper Phussbut G. Buttons C. Dowd believes that everyone is prone to remember ideas, forget them , or neither. In order to prevent cranial chaos, one must discriminate , differentiate, and then sort , data which is:

1) important stuff
2) unimportant stuff
3) neither important stuff nor unimportant stuff.

There are three mental bins located in the right portion of your Remarkable Inner Brain (R I B) which is just under the inside of your head under the right ear. All information must be placed in one of these bins.

1) The important stuff which YOU MUST REMEMBER should be stuffed into the important mental bin (I M B )which is located on the far right side of your R I B. Once properly placed there, proceed to remember this stuff AND ALL OF IT.

2) The unimportant stuff WHICH YOU MUST FORGET is stuffed into the unimportant mental Bin (U M B) located to the far left portion of your R I B . Once properly placed there, proceed to forget this stuff AND ALL OF IT. This stuff, once forgotten evaporates through the right ear within the hour of being placed there.


3.) The stuff which is neither important nor unimportant is called the Oblivian Stuff. This stuff should be stuffed into the Oblivian Mental Bin (O M B) which is located somewhere in the middle between the I M B and the U M B. This is the stuff that you should never have known in the first place, and evaporates as it is being put there.



If not, then it's certain, a sure guarantee,
That Phinniper Phussbut is bound to agree,

To repeat his fine wisdom, and lower his fee,
While patiently knowing you're dumber than he.

He'll say, -- "Hark---your life could be lived with much glee ---

If only you'd soak up some wisdom from me. "


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