A Professional Meddler

(Any similarity of any person you know or know of to Dr Bizil B. Boneheap is purely coincidental)


Just travel to Dzitzel, make sure that you see,
The busiest, buzziest ,meddling bee.

It's Bizil B. Boneheap, he'll find out read quick
The cause of your problems--lickety split.

Now Bizil will pry and find out in deep depth
The last time your house was an object of theft.

The fights you are having with husband or wife,
The pressures you've had throughout most of your life.

The friends who are faithless, perfidious foes.
Doc Bizel will tug at you ,analyze woes.

And know in a minute, the source of your stress,
Conclude without doubt that your brain's in a mess.

He's quite good at meddling, he's paid to dig deep,
Inside of your mind as you lay in a heap.

However, one problem, your ear he'll be chewin',
With questions and comments, advice that's confusin'.

This Bizil B. Boneheap will come on real strong,
Too bad that his counsel is usually wrong.


Dr. Bizil B. Boneheap BB is a friendly fellow. In fact, he has been a freindly fellow since he was born. Dr. Bizil B. Boneheapp BB is very sociable. He is friendly and sociable --all the time. He likes to know your business. He likes to know everything about your business. And that is why Dr. Bizil B. Boneheap BB has become a Busy Body by trade. In fact, he earned a BB degree in meddling at Spiderweb University three times--just to be sure.


Dr. Bizel has a sign on his front door:



Usually, being busy in the business of everybody, which is Bizil's business, means that he encourages his clients to blab bundles of babble in his ear. Then he blabs bundles of babble back.

There is usually a long lengthy line lingering longingly outside his door.





There are a gallon of glaring glitches.


You see, Bizil has an incredibly intricate imagination and is anxious to use it at every opportunity. So, if you have a big problem, he will make it bigger . If you have a small problem, he will expand and exaggerate it until it is extremely large. If you do not have a problem at all and have come to see him completely out of compulsive curiosity, he will think up a problem for you--lickety split-- and suggest sagacious, albeit, supremely superfluous solutions.

In addition, his extraordinarily erudite explanations could contain considerably complex and sometimes contrary conjectural connotations. Hardly anyone departs from Bizil's habitat/abode/place of busybody business with even a haphazard hint of what he was talking about.

Dr.Bizil's clients end up hapless, helpless, and horrendously hopeless. ( If they weren't in this condition when entering his habitat/abode/place of busybody business, then sure as filet of sole, they've become so now!!!).They therefore have to contemplate consulting with Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begooo about their considerable confusion. But they shouldn't muse too much over this momentary matter . You see , Barton, like Dr. Bizil, is busy. So they would first have to longingly wait on another long lengthy line--Barton's line. Once in his sacred presence, Barton will construct, critque, and convey conclusions about the complexities confided in him. In other words, Barton proceeds to promptly and precisely point out his interesting, insightful, illuminating, intriguing and indubitably inane and inaccurate interpretations of the deranged discernnments which Bizil B. Boneheap BB previously produced out of the perturbing and perplexing problems presented to him for busying.


BUT--what if Barton 's conclusions are also alarmingly confusing and all is not yet crystal clear?




When seeking assistance , please know in your mind
That Barton'and Bizil are bunglers combined.

First Bizil will busy, go on to make mush
Confound you completely, and then you can rush,

To Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begooo,
Who'll mix up your mind in a boggling brew.

And when he is finished, you'll limp out the door,
With problems aplenty you've not had before.

No matter! don't worry, no need to despair.
There still is a way to get needed repair.

Just run back to Bizil, he'll help you real quick,
And do what he does for you, lickety split.




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