TIPSY T.CASHCAN
THE BABBLING TUMLER IS INVITED
(Any similarity of any person you know or know of to Tipsy T. Cashcan is purely coincidental)
Sir Bill Supervisor decided one day,
To invite people over, a 3 hour stay....
He really believed that by having a party,
He'd let people know, he is #1 smarty.
The doings commenced, a surprise was in store,
'cause Tipsy the babbler arrived with a roar.
Sir Bill Supervisor decided to have a summer barbeque to celebrate his greatness and remind people of his authority. He left the details of the event to a party planner.
The party planner bought the food, set up the tables in the garden, put up decorations, and sent out formal invitations.
The party planner invited some neighbors. The party planner invited some family. The party planner invited some staff underlings.
The party planner made a big mistake.
One of these staff underlings happened to be Mr. TIPSY CASHCAN.
Tipsy arrived with his mouth open. Food went in, words and noises came out. He proceeded to tummel the event.
Here are some of his accomplishments.
Tummel #1)
Sir Bill was sitting on his garden throne. Tipsy went up to him, and wasn't babbling at the moment because he had chips in his mouth, so Sir Bill took the initiative--
and blasted to Tipsy:
"Do you see who is sitting in this magnificent chair? I am sitting in this chair. You are not sitting in this chair...."
at that moment Tipsy finished his chips and politely said :
"Oh ,yes, Sir Bill. I see you are sitting in that magcifiant chair. I see that I can not sit in that magcalcitrant chair if you are sitting in that magtificent chair. Because.... we can't sit in the same chair at the same time, even if it is maniplicant. And since you are already sitting there --that is, you are sitting in that magtaficient chair I can not sit there too. So I will sit in this ordinary chair right here. Unless, of course, I sit on your lap. If I sit on your lap, then we can sit in the same mantifigant chair at the same time. Or, I can sit in the metificient chair and you can sit on my lap. In that way too, we can sit in the same multifissident chair at the same time. Or ,you can sit on the ordinary chair and I can sit on your lap or vice versa. But if we are not to sit in the same magnanipus chair or the same ordinary chair at the same time, there is one more option. We can take turns and switch chairs. So first you sit in your malificient chair and I can sit in my ordinary chair. Then you get up and I can sit in your metricposident chair and you can sit in my ordinary chair. That gives us both a chance to sit in a muktifibent chair ...."
Sir Bill's face turned the color of a radish. He got up from his meticulous chair and walked over to the the hot dog table.
Tummel # 2.)
Mr.Pirry Jhirk had a childhood fantasy. He always wanted to be a jester. Having failed in all attempts to break into this profession, he became a teacher under Sir Bill's command. However, never giving up his dream completely, Mr .Jhirk was fond of telling jokes. He especially liked to attract a crowd.
So there he was, at Sir Bill's barbeque, telling jokes to a crowd of 2 people and a dog. After Mr .Jhirk had already told 2 jokes, to the crowd of 2 people (which created great laughter),Tipsy pulled over a chair and became crowd speciman #3. Mr .Jhirk was not too happy about this, but went on with his jokes:
Jhirk's joke #3- "A woman went into a store to buy donuts. She discovered that the store ran out of donuts so she bought a bag of frozen peas."
The two originals in the crowd broke out in uncontrollable laughter and a bark. Tipsy did not laugh. He responded-- OINK, OINK,OINK,OINK...
Mr. Jhirk's face turned a pale pink, but he went on.
Jhirk's joke #4- "A man walked down the street and saw three peddlers all in a row. The first peddler was selling eggs; the second peddler was selling rags; the third peddler was selling bandaids. The man purchased one egg from the first peddler and broke it over the head of the second peddler. He then purchased a rag from the second peddler, and wiped the egg off the second peddler's head . He took the rag with egg on it to the third peddler and dumped it on his head. When the third peddler protested, he bought a bandaid from the peddler and put it over his mouth.
Loud laughter and woff woff from the originals in the crowd. Tipsy did not laugh. He responded--- gobble, gobble, gobble gobble....
Mr. Jhirk's face was now the color of a slice of watermelon.But he went on because...
It was now the MAGIC MOMENT:
THE BEST JOKE OF THE DAY" Toodle and Tiddle were twin ducks. Toodle said quack, and Tiddle said quick. Together they said a quick quack.
UPROAREOUS LAUGHTER and a bark.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Mr. Jhirk's face was now an over-ripe tomato. He picked himself up and joined Sir Bill at the Hot Dog table.
Tummel # 3.)
Sir Bill has a supervisor. Although Sir Bill is 'tops,'
he isn't the 'top tops.' That role used to be possessed by Mr . Leeshan Bumpersceem, who habitually banged his head on the wall whenever he felt frustrated (which was all the time) . After deciding that his wall was not at all soft and that having headaches was uncomfortable, he gave up the possession of his position to Mrs. Hittery Greedy. BTW, Mrs. Greedy is a beloved devotee of her mentor, Queen Hearthbeat.Sir Bill thought it appropriate for Mrs. Greedy to give a barbeque testimonial speech (honoring him.) Mrs. Greedy needed some private time to organize her thoughts (no small matter), so she went into Sir Bill's house through a side door. After being absent from the assembled group for about an hour and a half, Tipsy thought it time for yet another tummel. So he went to the side door and put his nose against the door. When a great tummel is in the planning stage, Tipsy has patience, and lots of it. So he waited. Within 10 minutes Mrs. Greedy opened the door and found herself nose to nose with Tipsy.
( By now you will realize they both still had their noses.) Mrs.Greedy jumped backward in a panic, smashed her head against a wall thus becoming too rattled to read her speech. Mrs Greedy went home with a headache.
TUMMEL 4,5,6, ETC: USE YOUR COLLECTIVE IMAGINATIONS!
The babbling tumler with elegant flair,
Had also annoyed Mrs. Biverely Stair.
Arturio Larris fell into the mix-
With Tipsy T. Cashcan performing his 'tricks.'But all of these "victims" were known to create,
Much trouble for others; So... let's get it straight---
Though Tipsy caused problems , his unbridled nerve,
Caused havoc for only the ones who deserve.
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