The Supreme Consultant

( Any similarity of anyone you know or know of to Mr .Begooo is purely coincidental)



He started to talk getting wet in the rain,
With multiple words that are set in his brain.

He sits on his wall sometimes into the night.
Convinced that he's rightest of things that are right.

He's ever so right about things old and new,
It's certainly right and more righter than true,

That Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begoo,
Is one who'll advise him,her, it, me and you.

His voice booms out loud, intonations quite strong,
Although he is right ,he is usually wrong.


Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begooo spends his time disseminating information and advice. He is amazingly arrogant about his abilities and well he SHOULD BE????? You see, Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begooo knows everything. --(Actually, he knows even more than everything!)

No doubt about that; NO DOUBT AT ALL!

He also benevolently makes nonviolent corrections in everyone's thinking and gives wise cancel when needed--which, in Barton G's esteemed opinion, is frequently all the time. It is known that he even rearranged Artistittle's thoughts time and again.

And so, Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begoo has made propelling information and advice his lofty profession.


Pilgrims come from far and wide to the Queendom of Dziztel for this wise cancel. They even risk their noses to do so, and it is worth it. Of course, Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begooo refuses to make houses calls.


so says the sign on his wall.

He welcomes all who seek his wise cancelling.( HINT: Be sure to make your appointment a.s.a.p. because his schedule is quite truculent and there is a massive environmental waiting list . And his compelling lines are even longer)


By the by, did I tell you that Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begoo is rather pommmmmpous? Well,he is, and that's considerably appropriate considering HIS considerably considerable worth.


No doubt about that--NO DOUBT AT ALL.


Well, we certainly all know that by now, don't we!!!???


Barton G Humpty B. Bumper Begoo is particularly fond of relegating the meaning of language to those who come to see him . Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begooo surounds himself with dictionaries in various languages--not to console them as to the meaning of a particular word, but to see if the compilers of said dictionaries have caught on to the correct definitions as Barton G. Huympty B. Bumper Begooo defines, debates, relates ,creates , inundates, ,perpetuates , punctuates, relegates ,donates ,sedates, inflates, vibrates , and/or translates them. More often than not, they (the compilers of said dictionaries) are totally ferocious (meaning:wrong). This makes Baron G .Humpty B. Bumper Begooo quite pecuniary (meaning:furious) and transferrable (meaning frustrated.) He often says, " I simply can not metabolize why recividist piscatorians have such a culinary and feudal livery to antecede antediluvian crockery." (For the benefit of nonintellectual illiterates --like you and used to be me--I found out what Barton G. Humpty B.Bumper Begooo means by that statement:"I simply can not understand why non -thinking humans have such a insatiable and urgent need to misuse conversational language.")


I suppose Barton G. Humpty B. Bumper Begooo is right.he says that he is always right which means he is never wrong. That means that he is right when he is right and right when he is wrong. He can never be right and wrong at the same time, or from one day to the next either, of course, because he is never wrong. This is a good thing because if it were the other way round, or a mixture of both, we would all be tyranicalllly befuddled.


By now Barton G. has acquired great fame.
The whole world of PLUTO bows down to his NAME.

His sayings are famous, and very profound.
In OXFORD'S QUOTATIONS, his statements abound.

And here is a sample, just read and you'll see.
That Barton is smarter than we'll ever be!








Hmmmm! I guess no one is perfect...just almost perfect!



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